Two Months of James

TIME FLIES when you’re growing by the hour. James is two months old today! We’ll get his stats for height and weight at the doctor tomorrow, so I’ll add a postscript at the bottom when that info comes IN.

His biggest accomplishment this month is mastering the art of the smile. He’s a smiley kid and will light up when you talk to him. He’s a little more skeptical of the camera, but he warmed up eventually.

As of tomorrow, he’ll be in size 2 diapers, and he’s started wearing 3-6 month clothes within the last two weeks or so. While his growth in length and width are impressive, perhaps even more impressive is the fact that he seems to be growing hair. I had expected him to be bald until he turned one or so, but he has far surpassed those expectations. In person it looks brown at the moment, although in the pictures it seems blond, so the color remains up in the air.

He remains a pretty good sleeper, which is again somewhat expected. We’ll see if that changes around four months, but I’m hoping for the best.

Within the past week has has acquired an appreciation for “standing,” where we hold him up and he holds most of his weight (although he’s far from balancing). If he’s fussy, it’ll stop his disgruntlement in its tracks and he’ll start smiling.

He likes to stick his thumb between his other fingers when he’s holding a fist, which is just sorta funny.

It seems like he’s going to have blue eyes, which is somewhat surprising given that only one parent has blue eyes. We were discussing over over dinner the other night how we thought it was supposed to be a statistical near-impossibility to have two children with blue eyes if one parent has brown eyes (anyone else remember the punnet squares of 10th grade biology?), and I guess he is still too young to say for sure that his eyes will forever be blue, but we do seem to be on that track.

We’re having so much fun watching him grow. It’s the best! Here’s to month three…

An Exciting Evening

It’s time for a story.

Chaz had been back at work for only two days, and thus I still brand new at flying solo with two kids. James was twelve days old and Elise was realistically only 10 days into big-sisterdom, since the days I was still at the hospital probably don’t count. I, of course, was still recovering. Childbirth kinda takes something out of you. Literally.

We’d made it through the majority of the day, and my parents had stopped by in the late afternoon to drop something off. The kids and I made our way upstairs to read some books as they walked out the door, and we were just settling down on Elise’s bed with Horton Hears a Who to pass the time until Chaz got home from work.

I thought I heard a thump downstairs, but a lot of things can make thumps that are pretty innocuous, so I didn’t think much of it. “On the fifteenth of May, in the Jungle of Nool, in the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool….” I read, and then I heard another sort of light thump in the stairwell. I paused and looked out the door, but I didn’t see anything there.

“…he was splashing, enjoying the jungle’s great joys, when Horton the elephant heard a small noise…”

And then something flew into Elise’s room, startling us to bits.

It was A BIRD.

A bird, in the middle of January, at night, inside. Not exactly what you expect to see flying around your child’s bedroom. It wasn’t a large bird, but since the space it was in was not…oh, I don’t know…the entirety of Outside…it seemed rather large. In addition, it was somewhat panicked and trying to find its way back outside, so it was flying here and there and everywhere around the room, seeking an exit route.

I definitely jumped, but immediately realized that if I acted frazzled, Elise would be totally freaked out and possibly scared of birds for the rest of her life. My response, therefore, would obviously have lifelong significance. #postpartumhormones. James was unphased.

My first action was to close the door. If the bird left the room, it was naturally going to be significantly harder to get out of the house. My second action was to open a window, but only the top half just in case Elise also decided to bolt and somehow defenestrate herself. It seemed highly improbable, but so had the bird’s entrance.

After that it was a matter of getting the bird to find the window and leave. I started chasing it around the room while holding a newborn, but of course, when I went one way, it would go the other. Being the predator in the natural food chain has its downsides, apparently. Also, “chasing” is a strong word given the baby-carrying situation. I decided to put James down in our stroller’s detachable bassinet, which just so happened to be sitting on Elise’s floor.

At this moment, Elise decided that a frantic bird was actually frightening, and started to cry, upping her volume level every time the bird landed on her bed’s headboard. At the same moment, James realized that an open window in January makes for a cold room, and he decided he was unhappy about it so he also started to cry.

After telling Elise that the bird would be far less frightening if she hid under her covers and tucking a blanket around James, I stepped up my bird eviction efforts by grabbing a throw pillow and chasing it with more bird-blocking area. And at last, after about 20 trips from one side of the room to the other and opening a second window, the bird found its way to one of the two possible exits and flew away to frigid freedom.

Considering the random major postpartum event the first time around was an overflowing toilet in the middle of the night, I suppose the bird was cleaner. I’m also happy to report that despite her initial fright, Elise now often says, “Remember the bird who flew in my room? It said, ‘tweet tweet!’ Awww! It was a nice bird!”

Since I have no photos of the whole episode, here’s an entirely unrelated one to close us out.

One Month of James

Look at this! Two blog posts in a row? HELLO, WORLD.

James is one month old, plus a little change. In fact, if we’re being honest, he’s actually closer to 1.5 months, but who’s counting?

It’s very fair to say that babies don’t do a whole lot in their first month of life, but the things that they DO do, they do with significant expertise. All that to say…he’s a champ at eating, sleeping, and pooping. We change a looooot of dirty diapers. I’d say his area of most success is sleeping, though - he sleeps in his own bed, in a swaddle, on his back , and puts himself to sleep! Considering newborn Elise slept completely unswaddled, either in our bed OR on her stomach in a pack and play, and had to be nursed to sleep, this is like a whole new world. I credit that success 100% to Taking Cara Babies, and I wish I’d had it as a resource during my first round of newborn care.

He’s typically sleeping a solid 6-hour stretch at night already, which I attribute again to Taking Cara Babies and also the fact that the kid loves his milk. He’s gained over three pounds since birth and has some adorable rolls to show for it.

He has started to smile recently, and though I haven’t yet caught it on camera, it’s possibly the cutest thing in the world. Overall he just seems like a pretty happy kid, although he’s also mastered the grumpy old man face and has a hairline to match.

He doesn’t have any unusual nicknames. Most of the time we just call him James, although I tend to call him Jamie when I’m talking either directly to him or to Elise.

At this point…I think that’s most of what there is to report. It’s exciting to see him sort of wake up a little more as each week passes! He’s our little buddy, and we love him so much.

As a bonus, Elise wanted in on the photoshoot action, so here’s a shot just of her, since she’s been upgraded to Big Sister. Enjoy!

James Ashley: An Arrival Tale

As previously stated when I typed up Elise’s birth story, feel free to skip this if reading birth stories is not something you enjoy. But also as previously stated in Elise’s narrative, I want to have written it all down for my own memory-keeping, since it’s amazing how fast the details start slipping away, even a couple of weeks after the fact. So here we go!

My due date was New Year’s Eve, and since Elise was a few days early, I expected that I was going to go into labor even earlier the second time. Basically, once I hit 37 weeks, I woke up every day wondering why I was still pregnant. On the other hand, I was MUCH more comfortable at the end of pregnancy this time compared to last time, so the wait wasn’t terrible. I was shooting to give him a birthday any time between 12/10 and 12/22 at the latest, since I really wanted to avoid either giving birth or being in the hospital on Christmas. December 10th came and went, as did the rest of the week, then the week before Christmas, and then Christmas week was upon us and I started praying that I would NOT go into labor until after Christmas was over.

I guess God heard my prayers and answered them with interest, because while everyone was telling me that I would be so relaxed after Christmas happened that I would automatically start the process on December 26th, nothing happened at all. I had some sporadic contractions that didn’t really hurt here and there, but nothing that had me ready to call up the hospital. I took a picture at 12:59 pm on December 28 to mark the fact that I was officially more pregnant than I ever had been before (by one minute, at that point) and hoped that I’d have a baby that night.

I did not.

On December 30th, I walked into my 40 week appointment (which was actually at 39 weeks + 6 days), a little shocked that I had actually made it, and saw my favorite midwife. She told me I was at a 3 and tried to help me get things started with a sweep, commenting that she was going to be the one at the hospital that night and hoped to see me there. I was similarly hopeful, but NO DICE. That evening we went over to the shopping plaza near our office to walk around and look at lights, and we stopped at Elise’s favorite shop: the Amazon bookstore. We had done the same thing the day I went into labor with Elise, and I thought it would be a fun bit of parallelism if I had a baby that night. I had some light contractions that were 8 to 10 minutes apart that evening, but they were only 45 seconds long and fizzled out when I went to bed.

I should add a comment here that with Elise, the day before I went into labor I felt like I had the stomach flu, so I was expecting/dreading that to happen again before going into labor a second time. My labors would probably be very, very similar, right? Famous last…thoughts.

Yet again, the next morning (my due date!) I woke up and thought, “WHY AM I STILL PREGNANT?!?” Chaz went to work, we carried on with a normal day, and once again I had a few random contractions, but nothing consistent. The same thing happened the next day, so I decided this baby was never coming out and I might as well just “enjoy” being pregnant forever. That evening we ate a PF Chang’s frozen meal for dinner and I hoped that I wouldn’t see it later. We all went to bed.

I woke up at 2:30 with a contraction. It felt like the light 8-to-10-minutes-apart ones from the previous days, but it HAD woken me up, so I just made a mental note that it had happened and tried to go back to sleep. Just a few minutes later, I had another one, but I told myself it was probably nothing and tried to go back to sleep again. When the third one came, I decided that maybe I should start timing them, just to see if they were still 8 to 10 minutes apart, or if they were longer than 45 seconds. To my surprise, they were 6 to 7 minutes apart and lasting a full minute and a half, which is (unfortunately) normal for me during active labor. Still, I wasn’t convinced, so I got up to use the bathroom and figured they’d stop once I did that. As soon as I got up, they sped up to 4 minutes apart. Since I could still manage them easily, I continued to believe they would probably die down, but Chaz woke up when I came back to bed and I told him he might want to think about moving his meeting scheduled at work later that morning.

Unlike me, he decided things were actually happening (which was wise) and got up to take a shower and pack a bag. I called my parents at 3:18 am to come watch Elise (THANKS, mom and dad!) and then called the birth center at the hospital at 3:27. I said something to the effect of, “Well, I think I’m in labor, but I can still talk through contractions so it seems like it’s pretty early…”

They told me to come in anyway, so I got ready to go and hoped that they wouldn’t end up sending me home in an hour. Just like with Elise’s labor, I made sure I put in earrings, for some unknown reason. Every time a contraction hit I’d squat all the way to the floor and breathe. By 4:20 my parents had arrived and we got in the car, with me turning around in the front seat to continue my squatting and breathing routine. Things slowed down a little bit when we left the house, so I was somehow STILL convinced that this wasn’t real and they were going to send me home.

That changed when my water broke as we were driving down the highway. Since my water hadn’t broken with Elise until they broke it for me in the hospital, I was completely unprepared for that possibility and therefore only had a feather down blanket in the back seat to keep amniotic fluid from getting all over my car. Fun times! It worked well enough, and I realized we for sure wouldn’t be leaving the hospital without a baby.

We arrived at the hospital just a few minutes later, and I had two or three more contractions as we walked in through the emergency entrance - the regular entrance was locked during the night hours. We actually tried the ambulance door first, and some security guard gave us a funny look before we realized it was the wrong spot.

The nurses were waiting for me when we got up to L&D. They opened the door for me without us having to press the buzzer, and whether it was because I told them my water had broken or just because it wasn’t my first baby, they skipped bringing me through triage and brought me straight back to a delivery room. They asked me if I needed a towel to clean up the car and I said something like, “Oh no, I had a blanket, and I guess these are very absorbent leggings!” They humored me by laughing at that…but in reality my water just hadn’t broken all the way because the rest of it broke all over the floor of the delivery room just before I changed into my hospital gown.

Things picked up rapidly from there. I’d checked in at 5 or 6 centimeters, and contractions were coming fast and furious, so as soon as I was in my hospital gown I told them that an epidural sounded REALLY GREAT. They acted a little surprised and told me I was “doing really well, so was I sure?” I figured they must say that to everyone, so I said, “No, really…it sounds like THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD.” They put in an order for one and got me hooked up to an IV bag of fluids. Apart from surviving through contractions, the only thing I could think about was the fact that I was extremely thirsty and I think I chugged two full giant cups of water during the whole labor process.

I need to give a quick shout out to the phlebotomist who did my blood draw right before the IV went in. I despise blood draws more than any other standard doctor procedure, and I literally didn’t even feel it. I don’t know what his name was, but he deserves some kind of medal.

The nurses left the room for the most part while the bag of fluid drained, checking in every so often. I knew I just had to stick it out until all the fluid was gone and the anesthesiologist arrived, so I kinda used my fists to simultaneously lie on my back and give myself some counter pressure, which was the only thing that was giving me any comfort. “Comfort” is a complete lie, as it was extremely UNcomfortable and at one point, I looked over at Chaz and said, “I JUST DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!” and swore to myself that I was never having any more children. The only thing getting me through was a) picturing climbing a mountain when each contraction came and b) knowing that there were drugs on the way.

Actually, there was quite a lot of swearing to myself. If anyone had been inside my head, they might have concluded that I had been a very salty sailor in a previous life.

Around 6:15, the anesthesiologist waltzed in and said, “I’m Dr. Parker and I’m here to administer your epidural,” and then went through the litany of risks involved. I was well aware of those and just agreed to everything, while keeping my eyes closed and trying not to die, and also (so sorry, tmi warning here) feeling like I needed to use the bathroom rather desperately.

The nurse and anesthesiologist told me to swing my legs over the side of the bed, and that I’d need to sit still through the contractions while they placed the epidural. I remember saying, “Are you sure you can’t do it like this?!?” while I sat with one leg off the side of the bed and the other under me as I curled my back over like a cat. They said no.

At that point my body literally took over and the urge to “use the bathroom” won the day, except I didn’t actually need to use the bathroom. My eyes were shut this whole time, so I heard the anesthesiologist say, “When was the last time she was checked…?” I think I was sob-grunt-yelling as the nurse said, “It was about an hour ago…” and I just said, “I THINK I’M PUSHING.” The midwife was suddenly there and she told me to get on my side, which I thought was impossible but somehow happened anyway, and I opened my eyes just a crack to find that the room was filled with people before I shut them again.

I can’t tell you where Chaz was standing, I can’t tell you what happened to the anesthesiologist (was he there? did he leave the room? had we called him out of his warm bed at 5:00 in the morning only to send him back home? did he get shoved into the bathroom since there were so many people in the room? WHO KNOWS), and I can’t tell you what it looked like when my baby was born, but all of a sudden the midwife was saying, “Look what you did! You’re amazing! You did so, so well!” (still not sure they don’t say that to everyone) and there was a baby on my chest. So I guess I also flipped back onto my back?

Anyway…it was 6:21 am and he was here! (Side note: I myself was also born at 6:21, though it was in the evening. Crazy!) Start to finish, the entire labor was 3 hours and 51 minutes. They waited bit and then asked Chaz if he wanted to cut the cord (he did not), but I asked if I could and they let me! The midwife mentioned she’d never had a mom cut the cord before, which I thought was pretty cool. They cleaned me and everything else up, and then they let us just cuddle him for a couple of hours. Also, I got to order breakfast, which was the second best thing after having a fresh baby to snuggle.

Recovery this time was dramatically easier than recovery after my first birth, so if we ever have another baby, I think I might plan on a natural birth instead of wanting an epidural and then not making it. Considering I’d always wanted to have an unmedicated delivery but had also been dreading labor enough to want the relief of an epidural, this was probably the best possible outcome.

Now he’s a month an a half old, and he’s about as snuggly and wonderful as you might expect a baby to be, and we love him to bits.

Happy birthday, little buddy! We’re so very happy you’re here!

LONDON: Travel Prep

In what might be my most delayed post (series?) of all time, I’m finally returning to the blog to write a full, riveting recap of our adventure in London. Our momcation, if you will. Of course, in order to properly tell the tale, I must back up to planning the trip, since that is a thing I would recommend doing to anyone going on a grand adventure.

Overdid it on the smiling there. Just a little.

I’m sure lots of people on the internet have great tips for how to find the perfect hidden spots, best Instagram shots, and most important historical landmarks when traveling. In fact, if you use Pinterest as an itinerary-plotting tool, those are the majority of the resources you’ll find. I, however, prefer to plan my trips around something altogether more important: FOOD. I figure out where I want to eat for breakfast, coffee break, lunch, afternoon snack (or tea!), and dinner, and then decide which important cultural locations I’ll visit that day based on their proximity to the food places I’ve found. So far, this method has yet to let me down, so I’m hereby recommending it to everyone.

But even before planning our daily routes, we had to find a place to stay. Airbnb has become my new favorite site for lodging, although if I’m going for a hotel, hotels.com is the way to go. This time, we found a great Airbnb that was really close to the attractions we wanted to see. In addition, it was directly across the street from a Starbucks, which was great news when we arrived at 8 in the morning after an overnight flight with a full day of sightseeing ahead. If you’re looking for a spot in London, definitely look at that one!

Beth and I got together a few times before our departure and made a list of the places we wanted to make sure we didn’t miss, and then we stuck them all into a saved Google map. I also recommend this method: seeing all your plotted locations on a single map makes it really easy to figure out a) which locations are grouped together and b) how far you think you’re capable of transporting yourself in a single day. Our longest day involved walking about six miles, which turned into a bit less since we took the tube for some of the longer stretches.

Day 1:

Day 2:

We decided that we’d take a day trip out to Windsor on our third day, and then we got tickets to see the Royal Ballet perform Don Quixote that evening, so no plotting was needed for that. Once we’d gotten that all sorted, I figured out the most efficient way to get to and from the airport (the train!) and we were ready to go.

As for traveling logistics, here’s some assorted information that my or may not be useful to you if you’re planning a similar trip:

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Packing

I usually try to pack on the light side, but I failed this time. I did manage to fit what I brought in my standard suitcase + backpack luggage setup, but it was tight. A word to the wise: Norwegian Airlines has a 10kg weight limit on the total weight of your carry on bags (i.e. suitcase + “personal item” combined). If your baggage is over that weight limit, you will be forced to check it at check in, which comes with a hefty fee. Spare yourself. Pack light, or if you can’t resist bringing extra shoes, sign up for bag checking prior to arrival at the airport and the fee is half of what you pay in person. I was wiser on our return trip.

Essential items for England include comfortable shoes for walking, layers for vacillating weather conditions, and, at least in February/March, an umbrella. Less essential items but fun items include a camera, room in your suitcase for all the tea you’ll want to bring home, and a smaller bag for daily use. I used this bag from Old Navy (albeit in a color they no longer have) and I think it was my favorite of the bags I’ve used for that purpose over the years.

Saving Money

For disclaimer purposes, I should state that London is not exactly a budget trip. That said, there are ways to cut some financial corners. Airbnb is the first one; hotels tend to be much more expensive in big cities, and London is no exception. You can often find pretty good airfares to London as well. I’m a huge fan of budget airlines, and Norwegian (in spite of their silly baggage fee) was a great choice. We also cooked all of our dinners at our flat, and since dinner is typically the most expensive meal if you eat out, that saved us a substantial amount. Doing that also gives you some exposure to foreign grocery stores, which is something I’ve always enjoyed. In general, getting food from grocery stores for any meal will save you many dollars/euros/British pounds.

I challenge you to look more like a tourist than I do here.

For transportation, skip taxis/Uber all together and go with the tube. It’s by far the cheapest method for getting around. In particular, get yourself an Oyster card, which is a bit cheaper than buying single tickets for every ride. We got ours at the airport before hopping on the train to get into the city. (Side note: if you’re in Paris rather than London, do not throw away your Metro tickets before leaving the station. This is another lesson I learned the hard way and ended up with a fine.)

Lastly, depending on what attractions you’re going to see, you could consider getting a London Pass. If you’re planning on hitting all the major sites and want to go inside and explore most of them, this is a really great option for saving money. We ultimately decided not to get it on this trip, just because we weren’t going to be there for long enough to make it worthwhile. However, when a lot of major attractions are over 20 GBP, you want to see a bunch of them, and you’ll be in town for several days try to figure out how much the sum of the attraction entrance fees would be and then compare it to what the London Pass covers.

Eating

Eat as many scones as you can fit. Daily. Everything else is secondary.

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Considering this is already quite long and I haven’t even discussed what we actually did in London, this will be a series. No one ever said I was concise in trip recaps, so I suppose this should have been expected.

I'm Traveling, I'm Almost Old, and I May Never Be Trendy

So I’m going to London with my friend Beth (sans bébé!!!) NEXT WEEK. I’m pumped for oh so many reasons, including (but not even remotely limited to) the fact that we’d hatched this idea over a year ago and laughed it off until spontaneously making a decision to do it for our 30th birthdays, which are within a week of each other. It turns out that the days surrounding Black Friday are really, really awesome for buying plane tickets, especially if you’re buying them from already super cheap airlines like Wow or Norwegian. We actually first bought our tickets from Wow, which included a brief layover in Reykjavik, but canceled them within that beautiful 24 hour window of free cancellations thanks to Norwegian offering direct flights for even less. Magical!

I should perhaps be concerned about leaving my child at home for the first night without me while I’m literally an ocean away. I’d be lying if I said I was 100% not concerned about that, but I am also convinced that she will be fine.

I could also be concerned about actually planning the trip, but I’m not. I’ve done that part before and planning trips is fun for me. Also, I did a ton of that within one week of booking the tickets, because how else do you bide your time between {today} and your date of departure?

So what am I actually concerned about, you ask?

FASHION. WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR. HELP.

I’ve spent the first 30 years of my life ranging from solidly uncool to barely, marginally just behind on-trend, possibly dipping into the could-pass-as-a-hobo realm around the early middle school era. As in I really thought that my carpenter jeans with a baggy t-shirt and scraggly hair were somehow acceptable. I like to think I have surpassed that stage, at least, but I also feel like I should have this figured out now that I’m perilously close to 30. Maybe being homeschooled in 4th and 5th grade led me to miss the years that all the other girls learned how to be cool through osmosis.

Skipping forward about 15 years, the last time I was in London for an “extended period of time” (read: 6 hours; business travel at its best), I was traveling solo and lugging a backpack full of work clothes and training materials. I took a lot of very very subpar selfies, had a slight cold, and wore clogs. While I still love clogs, they will not be making the voyage across the pond with me this time.

Since this London trip coincides with turning 30, I’ve decided that a) I must be fully cool by then and b) I have to prove it while traveling. Thus, I have been scouring Pinterest for days, with searches ranging from “London Winter Outfits” to “Casual Travel Fashion” to plain old “Women’s Winter Clothing.” It turns out that “London Winter Outfits” are not that much different from “Women’s Winter Clothing,” but if you want to wear comfy joggers with an expensive leather jacket (left open, of course, to show off your impeccably fitted-yet-flowy t-shirt) and brand new, skid-mark-free sneakers, you should totally use “Casual Travel Fashion” as your inspiration. If you’re feeling really ambitious and trendy, you can pair that outfit with stilettos. Also, please make sure that you wear your sunglasses both inside and outside the airport. If you wear regular glasses, too bad for you. You are less cool. (Nota bene, self.)

In an effort to make progress, I’ve started out by fully KonMari-ing my closet. Maybe I’ll make myself a capsule wardrobe, since that seems to be very of-the-times these days. I performed this act as a spur of the moment decision, and since ThredUp took a FULL MONTH to send me a clean out bag, I had the pile of clothes sitting on my floor for weeks. Marie Kondo would have definitely disapproved of that, but it was a means to an end. That pile has now moved to my laundry room.

My problem is that a now have a closet/dresser that remains full of basics, and only basics. I think my fashion sense, if you can call it that, is the very definition of the “basic” colloquialism, and I’m not enough of a fashion risk taker to step out of that rut. Like I said above, please send help. Send me all of your best fashion inspiration, but please ensure that it involves spending zero dollars, because I’ve already spent those dollars on plane tickets. GO!

Kicking Off the Year with an Actual Bang

2019 started with a rather unusual string of events that I felt should be documented. Although to give the recap full justice, I should really start with last night. Elise went to bed at her normal hour, but instead of lying down and going to sleep as she normally does, she wasn’t having it and seemed quite distressed. After an hour and fifteen minutes of consoling, lying next to her crib on the floor, sending Chaz in to do a round of consoling, a dose of Tylenol for what we ultimately decided was teething pain, nursing, and replacing her in her bed, she finally went to sleep around 10:20. “How unexpected,” I thought, and headed to bed myself after finishing my Best of 2018 list.

She woke up 3.5 hours after I went to bed, and then proceeded to wake twice more before rising for the day at 7:00. I decided to keep a positive/negative tally for the day, and this counted as one point on the negative side.

Fortunately, Chaz had the day off today and since he was able to sleep through her night wakings and had gone to bed an hour earlier than I had, he hung out with Elise in the morning and I was able to get an extra hour of sleep. Hooray! Negative score: 1. Positive Score: 1. We’re tied!

Next, we decided to get some breakfast at a local restaurant. Thanks to her not so restful night, Elise was a little less content than usual to merely sit and eat, so we kept our breakfast a tad shorter than we might have otherwise. Nevertheless, it was scrumptious, so I gave this whole outing both one negative and one positive point. We’re still tied! 2 to 2.

After stuffing our faces with pancakes, both Chaz and I did a workout. I like to think that I consumed no more than 173 calories in my full stack of pancakes + syrup and side of bacon this morning, because that would mean that my workout completely canceled out breakfast. Don’t burst my bubble with facts here. #science. The fact that we did a workout at all was definitely a point on the positive side.

After a rather uneventful lunch for Elise, I put her down for a nap. Naps are good! We love naps! Another point on the positive side! However, she woke up halfway through. Another negative point. If you’re keeping track, we’re currently at 4 to 3. But by some strange magic, I actually got her back to sleep in her bed, and she slept for another hour. Positive point!

After she woke up, we decided it was time to take down the Christmas decorations and pack them in the box until next year. In past years, putting Christmas stuff away has felt rather sad, but not this year. This year it felt like a fresh start, and it was nice to have the extra space in our living room and at the top of the stairs, which is where we keep the chair that normally sits where the Christmas tree goes. Fresh starts! Extra space! Clean house! Another positive point!

We also decided it was high time to replace the dead lightbulb in one of our sconces by our front door. It had been out for probably 18 months, so we took care of that, though it turned out to be a rather frustrating exercise since the fixture disassembled itself while we changed the bulb. Eventually, it was done. Bulb replacement, +1. High frustration level: -1. We’re at 7 to 4.

Since we were on a roll on the home improvement front, we decided to also fix the bookshelf at the top of our stairs that had self destructed and dumped its shelves about a week prior. The bookshelf was always a bit precarious, so the fact that the shelves had fallen wasn’t too surprising.

We removed all the books from the remaining perilous shelves, although left some on the center shelf, which was part of the apparatus securing both upright sides to each other. Then we braced the sides together at the bottom and determined that we needed a screw on either side to ensure that the same issue wouldn’t happen again going forward. I got the drill, screwed in the screw, and was finishing was just finishing the final tightening when I heard a gigantic crack above my head.

I shut my eyes and leaned away from the bookshelf as the previously-firmly-attached center shelf gave way, dumping every musical score, Norton Anthology of Western Music volume, French dictionary, Conversational Solfege Teacher’s Manual binder, and rogue CD set on to the floor with an unholy crash. Did I see my life flash before my eyes? Maybe. Elise, who was standing a safe distance away to observe the operation, immediately started crying. Chaz, who was policing the Safe Distance range, did not.

Negative TWO POINTS.

However, as previously the stated, the bookshelf had always been precarious, and so I will give the positive team one additional point: we no longer have to worry about the possibility of the bookshelf collapsing at a random time and harming a toddler. Specifically our toddler. Safety wins the day!

We declared defeat on the bookshelf repair project, made ourselves dinner, and then picked up the pieces before Elise went to bed. I’m happy to report that she went to sleep as normal, without close to two hours of distress. We’ll give that a positive point for good measure.

If you’ve kept track, the positives beat the negatives 9 to 6, and if that’s how the rest of the year shakes out, I’ll be happy at the end of it. Cheers!

Goodbye, 2018!

Given that I have written absolutely nothing since September, it feels like posting here is long overdue. The last quarter of the year included our annual apple picking adventure, ice cream consumption, a campfire or two, football season (complete with a baby in a Seahawks jersey), various outings to the local fair, farms, and walking trails, trips to Maine and Washington, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. All of those things deserve their own blog installments, but since ain’t nobody got time for that, I will summarize: family, friends, food, and fun. I could never pass up a good bout of alliteration.

And NOW, since the end of the year is mere minutes away, it’s time for a Best of 2018 recap! Last year’s recap was basically all about Elise, but I think this year we’ll branch out a bit more. Maybe. Hopefully. We’ll see. So without further ado…

Best Location

This year we traveled a few places, including Vermont, New York City, Maine, Washington, Basel, and Paris. Given my travel preferences, Europe almost always gains an edge over domestic travel, and Paris both a) involves speaking French, b) has amazing food, and c) is not as expensive as Basel, so that was an easy win. Take me back, please!

I plan to overuse all 100ish versions of this picture in perpetuity.

Best Podcast

This podcast has been around for ages but I just discovered it this month. But I’ve been making up for lost time and have listened to multiple episodes per day, so I feel like I can give you this recommendation with some authority. Even if only a little bit. Stuff You Missed in History Class covers all types of topics throughout history, ranging from the Emu War of 1932 to the House of Worth and the Birth of Haute Couture. The episodes are typically under 30 minutes, come out multiple times per week, and unless the topic itself is grim, doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable listening with Elise in the car. I may change that last evaluation when she becomes more familiar with terms like “born out of wedlock” and “beheaded,” but for now, I think we’re in the clear.

Best Book(s)

I actually read more than I expected to this year, and while I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that a few of my reading selections were celebrity biographies (here’s looking at you, Chip and Joanna), I read some quality literature as well. This is a hard one to pick a single favorite, because I read across a bunch of genres. So here are a few good book recommendations:

Fantasy: The Golem and the Jinni, by Helene Wecker

Historical Fiction: Lilac Girls, by Martha Hall Kelly

Non Fiction: Educated, by Tara Westover

Fluff Read: The Royal We, by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan

Best App

My favorite social media app will probably always be Instagram, so there isn’t much to say about that. However, I love love love Paprika, which is a recipe organization app. If you find a recipe online, you can download it, categorize it, rate it, and use it off-line. In addition, there’s a meal planning component, so you can put your recipes on a calendar. THEN, you can make your grocery list with the click of a button, deselecting any ingredients you already have before finalizing your list. It’s the best! I love it so much that I bought it for my phone and my computer.

Best Coffee Shop

After four and a half years in the area, we’re finally exploring the towns surrounding us rather than driving an extra 10 to 15 minutes to get to places we already knew. I’m happy to report that while our town itself doesn’t have a coffee shop, Battle Grounds Coffee Co. in Haverhill is a great spot with tasty food and drinks nearby. I don’t typically think of Haverhill as a Location, but the coffee shop is well worth the trip. Haverhill is also home to both mine and Elise’s doctor’s office, so maybe at some point we’ll make a habit of frequenting the place. Oh, and I couldn’t leave the coffee shop without a hot chocolate shot.

Best Free Kid’s Outing

With a toddler who doesn’t love her car seat, these two activities are very, very local. But we really loved going to our local part and pond this summer and splashing around in the shallow water. It’s close enough to walk (although the walk can be and/or was just a tad brutal on a really hot day), is right beside the (really delicious!) bagel shop in town, and has an ice cream stand on the premises.

However, summer weather doesn’t last too long around these here parts, but thankfully we’ve got farms with animals to keep us going when the pond isn’t on the table for the day. Both Smolak Farms and Brooksby Farm have a fun collection of animals. And, if you want to make it just a little less free, Smolak Farms has cider donuts, and Brooksby Farm has ice cream cones full of animal grain to offer the creatures for about fifty cents. Elise particularly enjoyed watching me feed it to the pigs, sheep, and emu.

Best Farm

Since we’re on the topic of farms, I might as well throw in the best all-around farm. I mentioned it before in the blueberry picking post, but without question, the best farm in this region is Cider Hill Farm. They have THE BEST cider donuts, the best pick-your-own fruit options, good prices on said fruit, and more animals. What’s not to love? They even have wagons big enough to fit three babies and three bags of apples!

Best New (to me) Recipe

It turned out that I didn’t actually need to hit up a farm to get my apple cider donut fix for the year. You can make them at home and they are delicious. Or, due to the name of the blog from which the recipe came, damn delicious. For those of you that believe you need special equipment to deep fry (like I formerly did!), I am happy to report that you can easily do it in a big soup pot with a metal spatula or slotted spoon. I’ve decided that making these will be an annual tradition on the first day of fall every year.

Best Baby Travel Hack

You didn’t think you could get through a blog post of mine without travel info, did you? This year, we needed to travel cross country (by air) with Elise’s gargantuan convertible car seat. I didn’t want to check an extra thing and I also didn’t want to tote the car seat, a stroller, a baby carrier, all our luggage, and a toddler through the airport. While you can buy a car seat travel cart for what seems like a ridiculously overpriced amount, all you really need is a rolling suitcase with an extendable handle, a lashing strap on the shorter side, and a substantial carabiner. Voila! A DIY car seat/stroller/rolling bag. When you roll the suitcase, the car seat tips back and supports itself on the frame of the bag so that it doesn’t scrape the ground.

Believe it or not, in spite of her expression in that picture, she did like it.

Best Baby Product

Can I even call this a “baby” product now, since my baby is much more of a toddler than an actual baby? The Hatch Rest sound machine/wake up light seems to have played a huge role in getting Elise to sleep better. She’s finally sleeping through the night on a more consistent basis, and the tide really started turning with the introduction of the Hatch. I’m counting on using it down the road as well, when the wake up light is amore comprehensible idea.

Well, considering 2018 officially ended while I was writing this, I should take a cue from the picture of Elise above and head to bed myself. Happy New Year, friends! Give me all your favorite-things recommendations so I can try them all and put them in my 2019 best list!

On Gentleness

Roughly five years ago, Chaz and I were sitting in a circle with several other couples and Dave, our Bible study leader. We'd just finished reading Philippians 4, and were spending a little extra time marinating in verses 4 through 7: 

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

It was a familiar passage, one that I'd had memorized for years, thanks to many drop off and pick up trips to and from school with my dad. We'd used those for Bible verse memorization on the regular.

Gentleness. A word that had been used to describe me since those earlier years of memorization drives. Like love, I often felt it covered a multitude of personality "sins." Too soft spoken to be heard in the classroom? I was just gentle. Too timid to participate in the getting-to-know-you activities in first grade? Gentleness strikes again. Won the "Quietest" superlative award as a graduating senior in high school? No need to feel bad that the Best Musician award went to a popular girl in chorus. "Quietest" is another way to describe my more gentle traits. 

For a long time I'd assumed that gentleness (and its cousin, meekness) was one of the lesser virtues. It went hand in hand with being shy and "a follower" rather than "a leader," and since it seemed as though the church admired, revered, and praised the extroverted side of evangelism, gentleness didn't seem like something that I should truly seek after by itself. 

I wised up a bit later down the road. "What does "gentleness" mean here? What does that look like in our daily lives?" prompted Dave in our Bible study circle that evening five years ago. We all sat in silence for a minute or two, like we often did after a question was asked. Who really wants to answer first, after all? I finally piped up. 

"It's a rather fierce thing, isn't it?" 

It turned out that gentleness didn't have to do with quietness or shyness after all. Gentleness stems from a deep assurance that the Lord is near. That we don't need to be anxious about anything. That we can rejoice in all circumstances, and that from that abundance of assurance, we can approach living with a fierceness and fearlessness that calms an unquiet heart. 

I've been thinking a lot about gentleness and motherhood lately, given that motherhood is my primary job these days. Blog post after blog post, article after article, book after book has been written focusing on "mom guilt" and the responsibility and anxiety that comes along with mothering children. So much so that I often feel more guilt admitting that I don't usually struggle with those things than I feel about motherhood itself. It somehow seems selfish, haughty, or negligent to feel capable and confident, so please don't assume this means I think I'm a perfect mother. Far from it. I have made and will make mistakes, and I'm as covered in baby body fluids and food scraps as the next parent who didn't make it through her to-do list for the day. And I have an active, strong-willed daughter who isn't above throwing a nice tantrum in Target if she doesn't get her way. But for the most part, these aren't things that I spend a lot of time being concerned about. Mistakes are followed by apologies and forgiveness. Food scraps can be cleaned up. My to do list can (most of the time) wait. Tantrums are managed, or at least survived. As long as gentleness, rejoicing, thanksgiving, peace, and love are my focus in mothering, my child is going to be alright. I am capable, and where I am not, God is. Gentleness, it seems to me, is knowing that His grace is sufficient for me. His grace is sufficient for my children. His grace is sufficient to allay any anxiety, and I can rest. Take that, mom guilt.

 I don't know if Deborah - one of my favorite Old Testament characters - ever felt a guilty prickle in her conscience when she left her home (and presumably children) to accompany Barak and 10,000 Israelite men to fight the king of Canaan. But I do know that marching off to oversee a war while simultaneously judging Israel and prophesying isn't something that could be done while filled with doubt and insecurity. She, and later Jael as well, is a woman sure of herself and her actions because she is sure of God's faithfulness. If those aren't characteristics that should be emulated, I don't know what else there could be. That type of gentle self assurance is certainly something that I want my daughter to aspire to, and if I want that for her, I need to live that way myself. I think it's finally time for me to embrace it.

A Sleeping Update

So I finally sleep trained Elise. And it is MAGICAL. 

It all started when my friend Meghanne mentioned she was going to do it one day. At first I thought to myself, "I couldn't do it! She needs the extra comfort at night! She'll just outgrow it!" Meanwhile, all three of us were waking up multiple times each night, Elise and I both stayed awake until she nursed herself back to sleep, and then she was in our bed for the rest of the night. We were all tired, and things didn't seem to be improving fast enough for us to feel anything close to rested. 

The next night, after yet another day of feeling like I needed a nap from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning, I decided I'd give it just one more whirl. I'd tried on and off in the past, and usually after fifteen minutes and a couple of checks that just seemed to ramp up the hysteria, I'd called it quits. So that evening, I did our regular nighttime routine with Elise, but told her that I was going to go downstairs while she fell asleep and would check on her a little later. I have absolutely no idea if that helped or not, but she seemed to understand since she whimpered a bit when I put her in her crib. 

She started crying as I walked out the door and I told myself I'd give her until 8:00, which was nine minutes away. I sat on the stairs and watched the minutes tick by. One...two...three... and at the eight minute mark, there was silence. I tiptoed down the stairs and turned on the monitor, telling myself it was probably a fluke, but I'd try it again the next night. She woke up twice that night, but I also managed to get her to a) stay in her bed and b) not nurse herself back to sleep. When we all woke up in our respective beds in the morning, it felt a little too good to be true.

On night two, I gave her the same spiel before starting our routine. And when it was over, I put her in her bed and once again walked out the door. I sat myself down on the stairs, ready to either give up or sit for around eight minutes. By the time I had gone through that thought process, she'd stopped crying. 2.5 minutes. She proceeded to sleep from 8pm to 5:15am, then nursed, and then slept until 6:50 - an especially late hour for her.

On night three (last night), we were both feeling pretty good at bedtime. I walked out, and one minute later, she was putting herself to sleep. She woke up a few times during the night, but yet again I resettled her back into her bed without nursing. She woke up for the day at 7:10.

Tonight when I walked out of the room she didn't even fuss. I turned on the monitor when I got downstairs and I heard her babbling to herself a little bit, but all was quiet in less than five minutes. I'm crossing my fingers for no wake ups during the night.

I never thought I'd be able to do it, and I guess I previously thought that it might be too traumatic for Elise, but we're now on the flip side and I'm SO glad we did it. We wouldn't be here if she'd hit the 9 minute mark on the first night, so I take that as a sign that she was ready for it. She's very clearly NOT traumatized. And we're already all feeling the benefits from it. Elise seems happier in the mornings after having gotten a better night's sleep. Chaz and I are also feeling more sprightly as well, since even on the nights that Elise has woken up a couple of times, we aren't being jostled by a toddler elbow in our faces or backs or sides during the rest of the night. And while I admit that I sort of miss the middle of the night cuddles that co-sleeping gave me for a year, I think Elise's new ability to sleep independently will serve her (and us!) very well long term. 

Three cheers for sleep!

How to Travel by Plane with One Single Baby, One Year or Younger

I feel like I need to be EXTREMELY specific with the title of this blog post, because while we've successfully traveled a number of times with Elise, any recommendations I make are based strictly on our experience. Being that "our experience" only includes one child who has only just reached one year, you should probably take this with a grain of salt. Maybe a spoonful of grains, in fact. Nevertheless, I shall proceed, while acknowledging that whenever we have more than one child and we travel with said children, I'll probably need to blow this up and start over.

Here we go!

CHOOSING FLIGHTS

If at all possible - logistically, financially, or otherwise - aim for a flight that coincides with nap time or bed time. Unless your baby will not sleep except in his or her bed at very specific times, getting her to sleep is by far the easiest way to "enjoy" the flight yourself. It often means very little sleep for you as the parent, but it also means that you're not wrangling a crying baby for 5+ hours, or however long you're traveling for. Given those two options, I personally prefer the former. I can sleep when I'm dead, and if my kid isn't screaming, I won't die of embarrassment as a result of the trip. 

If you aren't able to choose a flight around a regular sleeping time, Godspeed. You will likely still make it to your destination in one piece, and you will hopefully never see anyone who was on your flight ever again. Dignity by obscurity!

TRAVEL REGULATIONS

For US domestic flights, many airlines do not require identification for your baby if you are traveling as a family. However, some do, so make sure to take a look at the airline's policy before you leave. To play it safe, bring a copy of your baby's birth certificate to ensure that you won't have any trouble.

If you're traveling internationally, your baby will need a passport. In addition, if you are traveling with your baby internationally and without your spouse, you might be questioned at the border since they're on the lookout for child abduction. Upon returning from France, the Icelandic border control guard let me through THAT TIME, but informed me that if I were to ever travel internationally with Elise and  without Chaz again, I should bring along a note from him saying that he had given his blessing. I assume that would have been true the other way around as well, if he had been traveling with Elise and without me. Otherwise, I SMELL THE PATRIARCHY.* Personally, I'm not sure forging a note would cause that much moral distress to someone who was already abducting a child, but evidently it makes all the difference. 

* Please note the sarcasm. 

CAR SEATS

Trying to decide what to do about a car seat is tricky, and depends on what you will be doing upon arrival to your destination. My preferred method is to not bring one and travel entirely by train, but that isn't usually doable in the US. If a car seat is necessary, there are a few different methods you can use:

1. If you're renting a car, you can rent a car seat as well. Rental car companies usually have both infant and toddler car seats, and we've used this method successfully before. However, it's not the cheapest way, since you typically pay by day. 
2. You can bring your own car seat. If you go this route, you can choose to either bring the seat on the plane (if your baby has his or her own seat, or if you're using it as one of your carry on items), check it when you check in, or gate check it. I know there is some concern about what happens to car seats in the cargo section of the plane and whether they get too abused to be safe, but I personally am not too worried about that after finding that my stroller did just fine in the belly of the beast.
3. If you work out transportation from the airport to wherever you'll be staying, you can buy a cheap car seat on Amazon and ship it to your destination. This might work well if you plan on returning several times and have a place to store it when you're not using it. 

WHAT TO BRING ON THE PLANE

For starters, bring your spouse. It makes hauling all your stuff significantly easier. It also means that you can go to the bathroom at the airport (or on the plane) without strapping your baby to your back while simultaneously dragging your luggage and/or trying to get through security while everyone behind you in line wonders what the heck is taking you so long.

Glad we've got that covered. 

Spouse or no spouse, bring a stroller and a baby carrier. The stroller is great in the airport (after security), and the carrier is the BEST thing to have on the plane, especially if you've gotten your baby to sleep. Gate check the stroller so that you have it right away when you land, unless you don't. In the event that you don't, you still have your carrier, so it's not the end of the world.

Other things that I've found useful include toy/pacifier wipes for when toys (that your baby loves to stick in her mouth) inevitably fall on the ground, Purell wipes to somewhat mitigate the ingestion of germs that live on every single surface in the plane, snacks upon snacks upon snacks (since the airline will only give you pretzels if you're lucky), and an empty sippy cup. I like to fill up Elise's cup in the airport water fountain after security so that I don't have to depend on the flight attendant coming around with what must be the smallest imaginable bottle of water.

I also like to bring a few toys and board books, since they don't take up too much space and will entertain Elise for at least a few minutes. For the toys, I'll often bring a pacifier clip so that I can attach them to Elise and reduce the number of times I have to think about how many germs they picked up from the surfaces around us. Her O-ball was a particular hit when we went to France.

Lastly, diapers and wipes are obviously necessary. However, I usually adjust my changing supplies containment method while flying so that everything I need is all in a gallon ziplock bag. I bring between five to seven diapers (depending on the length of the flight), which is more than generous, but keeps me well within my comfort zone. I also include my package of wipes, hand sanitizer, and several sandwich-size ziplock bags so that I can dispose of any particularly smelly diapers without offending the next bathroom visitor. Having it all stored inside a gallon bag means that I can just grab it from my carry-on backpack and hoist both it and my baby down the plane center aisle without whacking people in the face with a giant diaper bag. I also don't need to wrestle with it in the closet that doubles as the airplane loo.

Oh, and make sure you bring your own survival tools. Dark chocolate is an absolute MUST.

GETTING YOUR BABY TO SLEEP

I mean...do whatever is necessary. You know your baby the best. For me, that looks  like strapping Elise into the baby carrier and going to stand in the back of the plane to rock until she conks out. If she's tired - and so far we've mostly worked out flights so that she is tired by the time we're on board - she'll go to sleep fairly quickly. The only downside of this method is that you may or may not be in the travel path of the flight attendants getting minuscule bottles of water for other passengers. Eventually they will get tired of you having to move every time they come back and will tell you stand in the corner, which is actually preferable to standing in front of the bathrooms, which is where they had originally told you to stand. This process will also likely be smoother on international flights with more space in the back and often times more merciful flight attendants.  

FLYING

This section could more accurately be "how to avoid having your baby cry during takeoff and landing." The trick can be found on probably every single traveling-with-babies blog post on the internet. Feed that tiny human both on the ascent and descent, and the ears will not cause you issues. Nursing, pouches, water, juice boxes, and even pacifiers in case of snack-less dire straits will do the trick. 

Crying at other times is most likely due to feeling uncomfortable, being overtired, needing food, or any of the other hosts of reasons babies cry when they are not on planes. If discomfort is the culprit, try changing the diaper. While it is possible to change a diaper in your lap or, if your child is big enough, while she stands between your knees, use your best judgement when it comes to the content of the diaper. In other words, if it's going to be rather pungent, proceed to the nearest plane bathroom and bring along your ziplock bags. I definitely dreaded changing in the bathroom the first time, and then I realized it wasn't that bad. It gets a bad rap, but as long as there is a changing table (and by golly, there SHOULD BE), it's not really that much different from changing your baby on a changing table at home without a changing pad. Speaking of which, make sure you bring a travel changing pad. If you don't, paper towels make an effective, albeit non-squishy alternative.

ARRIVING

Congratulations! You made it through the hardest part! Now you just have to collect your stuff and get off the plane. If you're in another country, you will have to go through customs and get your passport stamped, but since you're not a criminal and the reason for your visit is obviously vacation, that's no big deal. My only note of import: make sure to take a good look around you before you get off the plane to verify that you haven't left behind anything of value. Or anything at all, for that matter. This last step used to be something I barely considered, because I'd usually put away anything that I took out when I finished using it. With a baby, many more things ended up outside of my luggage and didn't get replaced immediately, so the risk of losing something increased significantly. 

BITS AND BOBS

Jet Lag: it's a beast, unless you've done the red-eye thing. If you did an overnight flight, three cheers for you! You should be just fine. If you didn't, well...just make it past the first two days or so, and you will survive. Just prepare yourself to be very tired and try to keep as "normal" a schedule as possible so that you adjust naturally.

Useful Items: if you've gone somewhere international, don't bank on having high chairs in restaurants. Get yourself one of these before you go and you will be so so so so glad you did. If your baby is eating solid food, these will also turn you into the restaurant's favorite patron, since you're clearly not expecting the restaurant to clean up after your kid.

Ideal Age Range: this is probably a personal preference, but I really liked traveling around 9 months. It was nice to have an interested, yet non-walking baby who was eating enough food to sample things while abroad, but didn't want to do all the things herself. 12 months was much harder due to the walking/independence, but was still totally doable. Traveling at 5 months was also a little nerve-wracking, but only because we hadn't done it before. So my recommendation is around 9 months, but opinions are not fact. There you have it.

Sleeping Arrangements: I have yet to travel with a pack and play, but I have transported a Dockatot and am happy to report that you CAN squish that into a large suitcase. However, there's no way I'm bringing something that large on a long haul trip, so at least while we were in France, I just co-slept. It was much easier than any other option. But! If you don't want to do that, hotels often have cribs or pack and plays, and if you're lucky, the family you're visiting on the other side of the country will have one available thanks to other, now-older grandchildren. Finally, if that hadn't been possible for us, this thing (or any of the similar ones) would have arrived on my doorstep faster than I could use the "Buy With One Click" button on Amazon. That button is dangerous.

Diapers/Wipes: While I do bring as many wipes as I can comfortably fit, I like to bring just as many diapers as I need for the first day or two and then buy more when I get there. This philosophy worked out particularly well in France, where it turns out that grocery store diapers were superior and significantly less expensive than Pampers. I wish I could get them here.

So there's all my advice! Go forth and explore the globe, fellow parents! Then come back and tell me what else I should have included. May your children be less wiggly for souvenir photos than ours.

Blueberries for (Everyone But) Sal

I heard a rumor recently - or really, I read a bunch of reviews, blog posts, and other various online recommendations - that declared that Cider Hill Farm had the best cider donuts in the realm. While it isn't even close to apple season yet, cider donuts don't require fresh apples, and coupled with the idea of picking our own blueberries (which ARE in season), we decided we needed to check it out for ourselves. 

It's 20 minutes from us, and so once we'd gotten ourselves ready for the day, we hopped in the car this morning and headed over. I would never have guessed there were several farms up there, since the exit ramp specifically says "Beaches," but turns out there were several, many of which had their own farm stands, complete with the requisite wickedly expensive farm to table eggs, fruit, veggies, etc. We passed them all, naturally. Farm-Mecca was still beckoning. 

We arrived! It was...warm, but not so toasty that we feared melting. Upon picking up two empty picking buckets, we were directed to the blueberry bushes on the right. And so we started over, but not before saying hello to the resident chickens and goats. Elise made a new friend. 

As a side note: I'm quite in love with her little curls on the back of her head. I hope they stay forever.

Once Elise had had enough of the animals, we continued on to the blueberry section. Fortunately for our sweat glands, the blueberries were close to the entrance. However, the farm also has strawberries and raspberries available for picking at the moment. Later in the summer, we'll also be able to find peaches, apples, and pumpkins, and I'm already really looking forward to going back. Maybe for each of those things, in fact...

Anyway! I'm distracting myself. We were there today for blueberries!

We picked and picked until we filled our two small containers to bring home. The berries were plentiful and the company was the best I could have asked for. Elise had a ball, and got the hang of picking the berries off the bushes and dropping them into the containers pretty fast. Fortunately, she's not all that into eating fresh fruit, so we didn't have to worry about her eating more than we took home. In regular life, this fact is rather more unfortunate than fortunate, but I prefer to look on the bright side whenever possible.

By the end, we were very satisfied with our haul and had more than enough for at least one batch of blueberry muffins (come on over tomorrow afternoon if you want one hot out of the oven!), and Elise looked like she had been ready for a nap half an hour ago. This is the most enthusiastic picture I got with her. 

I promise that she actually did have fun. Evidently she just had more fun when she was with Chaz than with me. 

We ended our trip with a family selfie (because #millenials) and a quick jaunt through their farm stand/store, because we could not leave without a donut. That was half the point of going, remember? And OH MAN. They lived up to their reputation. RUN THERE NOW. You need these donuts in your life. 

The farm shop had a ton of cute wares that I wish we'd had more time to investigate, but with the napping hour having approached, knocked, waved, and played Ding Dong Ditch an hour prior, we kept the perusing to a skim rather than a dive. But we'll be back! They won't be able to keep us away! If I weren't already pumped about fall, this trip would have tipped the scale in that direction all by itself.

Too soon? 

A Morning at the Beach

Our "local" splash pad, it seems, has it out for me. I put local in quotes thanks to the fact that it's actually a 15 minute drive from our house, but when you choose to live in a slightly more rural location, a 15 minute drive is about as local as it gets when it comes to amenities like that. 

I've now tried to bring Elise there twice, and both times I have been supremely thwarted. The first time, I got Elise all ready to go, and we hopped in the car with my mom. Elise fell asleep on the way there - no big deal, since it was a short drive - and when we arrived we found a line of cars in front of a closed gate. It turned out that everyone in each of the surrounding towns had the same idea, and the splash pad was "full." The gates wouldn't open for another 45 minutes, and there was no way I was going to sit in a car with a napping baby on hot asphalt for that long. We turned around and went home.

The second time was this morning. Elise woke up early, and so I figured we'd go straight there after getting ready for the day. That part worked! We got in the car before 9:00, and drove merrily along until we were nearly there. At the very last turn, we came across a police man in a nice yellow vest directing traffic in front of a sign: "ROAD CLOSED." 

"Well," I thought to myself, "a road has two ends; I bet the other end is open!" We took a detour to the other end. Can you guess what we found? If you guessed another road closure sign, you'd be right. Thwarted again! Who closes an entire road for what I can only assume was a small patch of construction? And what about the people that live on said road? 

I'm not over it, apparently.

Nevertheless, I was determined to get Elise to some fun water, and we were closer to the nicest beach in the area than we would have been at home, so we did a quick about face and headed that way instead.

While the entry fee to the beach was a little steeper than I anticipated, it was a glorious day, and since we had gotten an earlier start, not many people had arrived yet. We set down our bag, slapped on the sunscreen, and I let Elise roam...while staying approximately 2 inches behind her every time she ran in the direction of the water. She absolutely loved it, and if you asked her, she might even say that it was more fun than the splash pad. That said, she's never been to the splash pad. Maybe the third time will be the charm.

On Putting a Baby to Sleep

Elise does not like to sleep. Actually, better said, Elise does not like to fall asleep alone. I probably could have avoided this little dilemma if I'd sleep trained her months ago, but I didn't, and here we are. 

For the first few months, going to bed looked like nursing her to sleep and then putting her in the Dockatot in our bed.

It worked until it didn't - she got too big and we had to come up with a new plan. It then morphed into nursing her to sleep and putting her in the pack and play next to our bed. Progress! She wasn't IN our bed anymore! 

Eventually, I grew out of my new mom is-my-baby-going-to-die-if-I'm-not-hovering-over-her phase and realized that she'd be just fine sleeping in her own room (though at that point we did get the AngelCare monitor, so maybe I'm still outgrowing that particular irrational fear). She also started going to bed at 7:00, so then bedtime changed again to nursing her to sleep, putting her in her crib, and learning to avoid all the squeaky spots in her floor as I tiptoed out of her room since we now had the evening free.

Fast forward another couple of months and Elise no longer nursed to sleep. Instead, she'd finish up, start smiling, patting my face, and then screaming the moment I put her in her crib. However, she'd fall asleep rather quickly if she just snuggled for awhile, and so we did that. 

And then one day, she decided it was more exciting to stay awake and climb on top of me than fall asleep, and the jig was up. She had to fall asleep in her bed. However, she also has extreme separation anxiety when it comes to bedtime, which leaves me stuck in her room beside her crib until she falls asleep. She deemed this method acceptable, in that she no longer screamed when she was put down.

Most nights she settles quickly and I'm in and out of there in 20 minutes start to finish, but some nights, let's say...TONIGHT FOR EXAMPLE, she fights sleep like it's out to get her. On nights like that, my internal dialogue starts to sound a bit desperate by the end, while externally I remain silent and completely still so as to avoid creating a distraction:

"Maybe tonight will be a good night! Maybe she'll just put her head down, shut her eyes, and be immediately asleep."

"Exactly how close do I need to be to the crib in order for her proximity meter to register an acceptable reading? Can I at least lie on the bed instead of the floor?"

"Nope."

"Just put your head down, child."

"Good job! Suck that thumb until the cows come home!"

"Why is your head back up?"

"WHY IS THE NEIGHBOR RUNNING A FREAKING CHAIN SAW??"

"Yessssss. Lying back down."

"Why are you repeatedly smacking your mattress? How does that help you fall asleep??"

"STOP. STOP STOP STOP. SLEEEEEEEEEP."

"GO TO SLEEP."

"SLEEP NOW."

"I may need to invest in that notorious 'children's book' for adults." 

"Why are you still awake?"

"What if I just sneak out while she's facing the other direction...?"

"Wait, I've tried that before. It only prolongs the process."

"I've been lying on a FLOOR for 30 minutes. Is this really the best use of time?"

"Why didn't I suck it up and sleep train months ago...?"

"When I finally get downstairs I should google if it's possible to spoil a child by catering to her need to have me nearby to sleep."

"Wait! Is this it? Is she sleeping?? Can I escape???"

"Curses."

-- 10 minutes later --

"I give up."

Monday Meandering

Monday, man. What a day of the week. Our Monday has thus far included both a nap and a doctor visit involving a baby (ahem: mine) who managed to pee on the mat at the door in the exam room, so I'll give it a solid C. Could be worse, could be better. Upon arriving at home, the vaccine aftermath wasn't so bad either:

Thanks for the quasi-emo high quality photo, light-blocking shades. 

We'll follow that up with an epsom salt bath later and I suspect all with be right with the world.

In other news, the Bachelorette is on tonight and I'm more than a little ashamed to admit I will probably be watching. Chaz has meetings on Monday nights, and so I need SOMETHING to do. It would undoubtedly be much more productive and/or enriching to pursue a creative enterprise during that time, but sometimes a good brainless show is just the ticket to think about nothing for awhile. Please tell me that I'm not alone so that I can assuage my guilt.

I'm going to end this rather pointless, rambly post while we're ahead behind and finish up with a picture of Elise wearing my glasses. I needed an extra dose of it in my life, so perhaps you did too.

One Year of Elise in Photos (x2)

I suppose this is a bit of a continuation of the birthday post, but this is basically all photos. Throughout the course of the year, I took two series of photos each month. One was the "real" set with a legitimate camera, and the other was in our Moses basket and with my phone. I was much more consistent on the date of the photos with the camera, but the basket ones are fun to see exactly how much she grew! And so here you go: the basket photos first, then the others. 

And then the camera photos!

I'm just milking all the birthday stuff over here. Don't mind me. You can expect at least one more...because she only turns one once, after all!

One Year of Elise

Elise turned one on Memorial Day, and we spent the first half of the day up in Vermont and the second half driving home. But while it wasn't the most celebratory day of all time, we still had a good time, and her real birthday party is next weekend! No doubt I will recap that as well. In the meantime, I did still take my normal volume of month stat pictures, and then I tripled that amount for good measure.  

Within the last month, she learned things in leaps and bounds! The most exciting one is that she is walking all over the place, and she seems delighted with her newfound ability to walk without holding on to someone's hand. I suspect she will move on to running in the next week with how fast she still likes to push her little cart. 

She's added some more words to her vocabulary, and uses them with great frequency. If you visit our house, you'll likely hear her say, "Uh oh," "Duck," and "Wowwwww!" The last one is most often employed when hearing, seeing, or thinking about the construction vehicles that are currently working on replacing our formerly rotten wooden retaining wall along our driveway. That's another story for another time. If you were hoping for a visual of her saying her favorite word, look no further!

In addition to the spoken word, she has also created her own version of the sign for All Done. She makes this sign when she has finished eating a meal, wants to get out of her car seat, or has woken up for the day and would like to get out of her crib. 

Since the weather has gotten warmer at long last, we've spent more time outside. She loves being out there, and this month she's discovered the singular joy of feeling the grass on her bare feet. She loves it, and we've already had several baths on non-bath days thanks to having dirt on her knees. I consider that a sign of a day well spent.

Her favorite food lately is cardboard. Yes, you read that right. While she often refuses tasty things like fruit, she will chow down on tags, board books, boxes, and church bulletins, and within seconds will tear tiny pieces off and swallow them if I don't catch her in time. Fortunately for the board books, she also likes reading, so I don't have to be quite as vigilant around those as I do around other pieces of paper. Nevertheless, most of her books have bite marks, evidently indicating to the world that they belong to her and her alone.

Her animal sound repertoire has increased, and in addition to lions and monkeys, she'll reliably tell you what owls and birds say when asked. Occasionally she'll remember what a cow says, so we'll be working on that one next. 

Her sleep has also improved lately, which has been wonderful. It had been rather terrible between 10 and 12 months, with a typical night including two or three wake ups and getting up for the day around 5:30. In the last couple of days she's only been waking once and sleeping in a little later, so I'm hoping that will continue. 

It's quite odd to think that this is the last of her month by month posts, since it seems a bit unusual to continue reporting beyond a year. Cue a barrage of thoughts about the speed of time. However, in lieu of actually writing those out, I present to you a stream of photos of Elise with a party hat or five. What could be better than that?

Happy very first birthday, sweet girl! We love you forever and can't wait to watch as you continue to grow.

Eleven Months of Elise

Elise is 11 months now! That came up quickly thanks to the fact that I didn't write her 10 month report until two weeks into the month. But a lot of things happened between 10 and 11 months! Time for an update.

In recent days, Elise has become slightly pickier in her eating habits. She's a big fan of spitting things out, but I read somewhere on some moms' message board - the best source of quality information, right? - that this particularly delightful habit is sometimes related to teething. That doesn't seem too far fetched because between 10 and 11 months she cut three teeth all at once! She's up to eight total, and it's changed her little smile quite a bit. 

She must have hit a growth spurt as well, because we used 12 month onesies for about two weeks before she needed the 18 month size. 

Last month I mentioned we were working on some animal sounds, but the lion was the only one that was consistent. Well, shortly after that, she mastered a monkey's sound as well! She's learned a lot lately - she's clapping, raises her hands when she hears us cheer, and if you ask her where your nose is, she'll point to it without fail. 

Her hair continues to grow as well, which is good - she doesn't get random strangers referring to her as "Baldie" anymore. But the best part about it is that as long as her hair dries right after a bath, she ends up with a single curl right on the top of her head. I'm just hoping it doesn't eventually descend down to the middle of her forehead, because there's a rhyme about that. 

Within the last week or two she's gotten especially good at standing independently, and now it's much more often on purpose than it was before. It's hard to capture in a picture since she's always on the move, but every once in awhile, I get lucky:

Her favorite activities include opening and emptying drawers, pulling all of her books off of her little bookshelf, pointing at anything she finds interesting, cruising around with her push cart, and, more than anything else, holding on to our hands and walking around the house. She'd do it for hours if she could, and she gets rather sad when we have to let go and do something else. In that case, she'll go back to her push cart, which she recently learned how to steer!

But her biggest accomplishment this month is that a couple days shy of her "month day," she took a step! It was only one, and at first she wasn't too happy about it, but she did it and she has done it several times since. 

We keep cheering her on with each new development. It really is amazing to see how a baby can go from being completely and entirely dependent on you in the first days of life to a little independent person all within the space of a year. I mean, let's be honest...she's still very dependent in most ways. But it's so much fun watching her personality reveal itself every single day. What a blessing.

And next month, she'll be one! Prepare yourself for an onslaught of pictures of Elise in a white onesie...with a birthday hat. 

Scattered Things

Hello there! I guess I haven't had much noteworthy material to discuss in great detail lately, since I often get to the end of the day and think, "You know, I should blog. But I can't think of anything, so I guess I'll just watch a documentary on the British royal family instead." The documentary might also have been another show (Jessica Jones season 2, anyone?), or perhaps a baking project, or maybe some sewing, but I often end up only doing one leisure activity per night, and blogging, I suppose, hasn't come in first place on the leisure activity hierarchy within the past couple of weeks.

So here we are. And this isn't even a real post, since it's more of a series of hot takes. Feel free to take it or leave it.

Item 1: I think Elise needs at least one more pair of pajamas. She has four pairs at the moment, and because they somehow need washing after a single wear every single night, I need to get some more. Or maybe I just need to get off Lazy Island and do laundry more than once every four days. Actually, that's probably the real answer, because when I do have to do laundry, it's the size of Mount Doom and it takes an age and a half to fold. Or perhaps the REAL real answer is that I should get in the habit of actually putting her in her bib before she eats yogurt for breakfast...

Item 2: I'm finding that I'm missing my job a little more this summer than last summer, mostly because of all the travel it entailed over those months. I didn't think about it too much last summer since I was in the throes of postpartum recovery and taking care of a newborn, but now that we've gotten into a good groove and Elise is a little more independent, I wish it was easier to hop on a plane once (or more) times per month and check out a new spot. Of course, I say that while I'm happily playing with an almost-toddler, idealistically forgetting how exhausted I was at the end of a corporately-focused summer when I never wanted to hear the word "economy seat" ever again. This is probably a great time for me to recall that great parenting refrain: everything is a phase. There will be more high frequency traveling seasons in the future, I'm sure. In the meantime, I'll also remind myself that we literally just traveled and should be grateful for that.

Item 3: Now that the weather is FINALLY warmer, we've been enjoying more time outside lately! Since Elise learned to sit during the winter months, she had never been in a swing outside until now. Turns out she loves it, and I expect we'll be doing a lot of it this summer. 

Item 4: My hot chocolate obsession began just before Paris and it has continued since our arrival back home, and I actually have a shocking number of pictures of mugs of it on my phone. Evidently I only break from my constant stream of photos of Elise when I'm presented with a steaming cup of cocoa topped with a mountain of whipped cream:

The pinnacle of all hot chocolate I've tried, from the Musée D'Orsay.

The first tasty mug of hot chocolate in Basel, Switzerland.

The second tasty mug from Basel. Hard to say which was better.

Decent hot chocolate with an attractive backdrop in Portsmouth, NH.

Another decent one in Beverly, MA. I seem to use the same angle for almost all of these shots...

Homemade, with a dash of peppermint extract.

In case anyone is curious, almost every mug of chocolate I've encountered in the US is sub par, including the ones I've made with a host of mixes. However, just this week I discovered the most European-style hot chocolate since returning from the motherland itself. If you too are a MA-based hot chocolate connoisseur, look no further than Tartine in Beverly. It will not disappoint! While not quite as thick as the hot chocolate in France, the flavor was about the same. Not too sweet, no sugar sludge at the bottom. Of course I took a picture. That's a question that didn't even need asking. 

I didn't even miss the whipped cream.

Item 5: My parents are in the process of moving (closer to us! yay!), and in doing so they've given us some of the things that I had when I was small. The most recent of those things was my rocking horse, and Elise was p.u.m.p.e.d.

Item 6: This is perhaps the most random of all the things in this post. My hands are always dry in the winter, and we're talking the cracked and bleeding variety. This year, it was much worse than usual, and it continued until this past week, which is far later than usual. I attribute that to more frequent hand washing thanks to changing diapers. It had gotten so bad that I would dread washing my hands every time, because it felt like getting a thousand small paper cuts as soon as my hands hit the water. Not a good thing! I crowd sourced some recommendations on a Facebook group, and lo and behold, I have a new miracle product. This stuff has completely changed the game, and it's like my hands were never dry at all! And it only took one use! 

It also rates really well in the Skin Deep database, so I feel pretty good about using it. Just thought I should pass on the discovery, because a magical hand cream is worth its weight in gold. 

I could add more, but we're heading to a party with cupcakes and we definitely don't want to miss out on that. 

Ten Months of Elise

We've made it to another month day! Happy 10 months, Elise!

Also, a note: a took her pictures on the actual day, but I have been remiss in my chronicling duties and am posting about it a week late. Alas! 

The most notable thing to occur this month was the big trip, of course. That included several milestones for Elise: first international trip, first passport stamp, first croissant, etc. But she's glad to be home now, exploring her familiar things and places, and she's growing like a weed. Her 9-month clothes are getting too short, and I'm packing up some of my favorite outfits in favor of ones that fit. While I normally start with the standard white onesie shots, I decided to first pay homage to her hedgehog pajamas with the matching hat, since they're going to end up in the storage box after their next washing.

She's been practicing standing all on her own more and more lately, usually when she's absorbed in something (like removing all of the books from her bookshelf). She has also expanded her vocabulary a bit, using more consonants and speaking in what sound like full sentences of gibberish. 

We also discovered that she has sprouted yet another tooth, bringing the total up to five. I suspect that the same tooth on the other side is on its way in as well, but she hasn't been complaining about it. As a result, it may be a little while before her mouth gets into a symmetrical state again. She's totally pulling off the look though. 

She has also been sampling a ton of foods! She'll eat whatever is on my plate, and so I've tried to become more intentional about making her a little miniature meals at mealtime so that she gets a substantial amount of solids each day. That works some days and other days she subsists entirely on milk, but since food is more for exploration than nutrition at this point, I think she's doing just fine. 

As of eight or nine months, she began playing games with people, usually with Chaz, where she leans all the way over to one side when she's sitting or standing and expects you to reciprocate. Once you've leaned over to match her, she'll lean the other way and wait for you to follow. She thinks it's hilarious and the game is typically accompanied with lots of smiles, babbling, and giggles. 

And whenever she's in the presence of a light blanket, you can be sure she'll play peekaboo with you. She pulls the blanket up so it's covering her face, and when you ask where she is, she'll pull it down with gusto and grin. 

She has also developed a strong affinity for climbing anything and everything that she can, so stairs hold a particular fascination for her. However, when stairs are not available, the nearest chair suits her just fine. 

Fear not; I rescued her immediately once things started heading that direction. 

When not climbing, her preferred activity of late has been reading, which I love. She sits on our laps to read, and when we get to the end of the page, she'll reach with her left hand (only - never the right) and turn it. She really loves lift-the-flap books, and her absolute favorite is Dear Zoo. She gets very excited when we begin, and her excitement culminates on the page with the lion. So much so, in fact, that when you ask, "Elise, what does a lion say?" at any point, she'll roar. It's the best. We're still working on monkey and elephant noises, since those are some of the other animals in the book, but having the lion noise down pat is pretty great. 

I think that's all I have to report for the moment. See you next month for another report!